Few Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some! married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

The 20th Floor

There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th floor of a tall building. On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs home.

After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags then and climbed on............

When they have struggled to the 40th level by this time they had gone sufficiently mad and irritated. The younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel.

They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarrelling all the way to the 60th floor.

They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarrelling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which were left on the 20th floor.........

This story is a reflection on our life and times. All of us climb the tall building called career ...........some till all the 80 floors and some less. But do we know that the key to happiness is in the bag which has been left back on the 20th floor only. Know your dreams and follow it so that you will not live with regrets.

Inside each of us are powers so strong, treasures so rich, possibilities so endless, that to command them all to action would change the history of the world. So “Our lives are the reflection of our thoughts”

Don't copy if you can't paste..!

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention,
Said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
Wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
Received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to
use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half
of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who
she was !"

As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste..!

MBA Vs. BE Student

A MBA and a BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend. "

Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see

Millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies

And potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and

We are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment, and then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".


"ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE"

Management Lesson 2

Story of A Married Man

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________

A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who
surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy
Independence Day

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it

_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ __


Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

__________ _________ _________ _________ _________


Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash

Love At First Sight

Can anybody explain what love at first sight is? I know that is tough to define.

I guess the picture below shows what it means....

Bill Gates' 11 rules

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

NAIL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger,they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Ishita Sharma

Management Lesson 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not?????

Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 th 8 th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x ? ? x x x x x x x


IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health

Wallpapers

A Microsoft Email Id

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start. The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."I'm sorry", said the HR manager," If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cant have the job. The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day.Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!! "The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"




Moral of the story:
1) Internet is not the solution to your life.
2) If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Another Dumb Blonde

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Statements made by a vernacular professor:

Inside the class :

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.

* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor

* You, meet me behind the class ( meaning AFTER the class) when I am
empty (meaning when he is FREE).

* Both of u three, get out of the class.

* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....

* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...

* Take 5 cm wire of any length....

*Don't dare to talk in front of my back!

*Why are you so late... say yes or no!

*Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I am here

About his family :

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

At the ground :

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.

* There is no wind in the balloon.

To a boy, angrily :

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

Giving a punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times...

* You, go and under-stand the tree...

* You three of you, stand together separately.

Sir at his best :

Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theater, though the boy did not see them. So the next
day at school...
(to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theater"

* To a beautiful girl who is trying to make excuses for coming in late " What is this ? Yesterday you were lying with the principal and today you are
trying to lie with me"

* Telling a student to put a picture on the wall before an exhibition "Boy, hang that picture on the wall or I will hang MYSELF "

* Student : " Sir, would you mind if I sit in the back of the class. " Prof. : " No, No! ... ... I have no mind . "

PAKISTAN TOUR OF INDIA

Fri 2
09:00 local, 03:30 GMT TBC v Pakistanis
Feroz Shah Kotla, Delhi

Mon 5
09:00 local, 03:30 GMT 1st ODI - India v Pakistan
Nehru Stadium, Guwahati

Thu 8
14:30 local, 09:00 GMT 2nd ODI - India v Pakistan
Punjab C.A. Stadium, Mohali, Chandigarh

Sun 11
09:00 local, 03:30 GMT 3rd ODI - India v Pakistan
Green Park, Kanpur

Thu 15
14:30 local, 09:00 GMT 4th ODI - India v Pakistan
Captain Roop Singh Stadium, Gwalior

Sun 18
14:30 local, 09:00 GMT 5th ODI - India v Pakistan
Sawai Mansingh Stadium, Jaipur

Thu 22 - Mon 26
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 1st Test - India v Pakistan
Feroz Shah Kotla, Delhi

Fri 30 - Tue 4
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 2nd Test - India v Pakistan
Eden Gardens, Kolkata

Sat 8 - Wed 12
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 3rd Test - India v Pakistan
M.Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bangalore

*How to kill a lion By Companies...*

Accenture Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .! ......

Infosys method:
hire a lion
keep him in bench 4 long time
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method:

Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

IBM's metbod:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score
60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he
comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9:30 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lio! n dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:

Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!

TCS Method:

Hire a lion....
Send him to TRIVANDRUM
Ask him to learn learn learn long time
Ask him to eat kerala food with coconut oil
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls

And Posting at very far place from hometown.

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

Beautiful Sayings by Great People

Truth behind the Stock Market

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the
forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the
villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now
buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started
catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to
their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys
became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone
catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since
he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on
behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all
these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell
them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell
it to him for Rs50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the
monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!

Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!!!!

Take this Quiz

Never Fight a Woman

Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she
replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider.

WIFE V/S HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. A n earlier discussion had led to an argument
and
either of them wanted to concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband
asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" ?"Yep," the wife
replied, "in-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife
replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife
responded, " Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so
you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would
be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do
it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait
as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in
charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because
that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife
replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies,
"I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible,
and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of
several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

Chatting with Someone Special

Our HERO WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know
it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

Airtel is now Vodafone

Super Heroes-Part time jobs

Secret behind number 11

This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all
first, right from the beginning)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters .
(The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers,
6 + 5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known.
9 + 1+ 1 =11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is
the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic
holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.
The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah
while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for
the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was
peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?

Try this and see how you feel
afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane
to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the font called " WINGDINGS "
What do you think now????

Football

Download To Mobile Phone: England Football

Mobile Skin

Download To Mobile Phone: REAL

Pune-Mumbai-Pune Expressway

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa-Grand Finale

PUMBA-Chapter Meet '07

Cool Answers

>>Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
>>A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
>>
>>Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
>>take four men to build it?
>>A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
>>
>>Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
>>apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
>>A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
>>
>>Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
>>A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
>>one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
>>
>>Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
>>A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
>>
>>Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
>>A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
>>
>>Q. What looks like half apple?
>>A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
>>
>>Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
>>A : Dinner.
>>
>>Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
>>A : It caused a revolution.
>>
>>Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
>>A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )

OFFICE Notice:

All members of staff please note that
there will be ONLY one drink per person at this year's Annual Party.

And please bring your own cup!

Regards,

Management

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And what happened at the annual party !!! (Scroll down)

Before and After Marriage

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!!!!

I've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me..

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)

5. Why do people say, "you've been working like adog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stayand watch)

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oilis made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

11. What should one call a male ladybird? (Nocomments)

12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they rememberthat they forgot? (can somebody help )

13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)

15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

17. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

19. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?

Acquarium

Cool Definitions

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage





SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY STATISTICS

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Snaps taken just before major injury or death