Office Office

Sales Tactics

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

'Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!' exclaimed the eager salesman.

'Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?' asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, 'Why, madam?'

'There's no electricity in the house...' said the lady

MORAL: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...!!

Picture of the day

Twenty20 Champions League 2008 Schedule

3 December

Middlesex Crusaders v Victoria Bushrangers, Mumbai

Rajasthan Royals v Natal Dolphins, Mumbai

4 December

Sialkot Stallions v Western Warriors, Bangalore

Chennai Super Kings v Victoria, Mumbai

5 December

Middlesex v Pretoria Titans, Chennai

Sialkot v Rajasthan, Mumbai

6 December

Western Australia v Natal, Bangalore

Victoria v Pretoria, Chennai

Chennai v Middlesex, Chennai

7 December

Natal v Sialkot, Bangalore

Rajasthan v Western Australia, Bangalore

Chennai v Pretoria, Chennai

8 December

Group B winners v Group A runners-up, Bangalore

9 December

Group A winners v Group B runners-up, Chennai

10 December

Final, Mumbai

General Motors reply to BILL GATES

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release Stating:
"If GM had developed technology like microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part, esp 7th point and 10'th point):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would ! run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. "

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi - The story Unfolds

“It is a very earthy romantic film about SRK who is married to Anushka Sharma. There is a big age difference between them and they are not what you’d call a perfect couple. They are merely stretching their marriage with no real romance in between them. They are two very different people. There’s a reality dance show called Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi — which is the main backdrop of the movie. The show is on the lines of popular television show, Nach Baliye.”

The source continues, “Anushka wants to take part in the dance competition but she can’t because her husband is a old and not hip and happening. She fears that if she dances with him, she will lose the show and become the laughing stock among all her friends, who are taking part in the same. Shah Rukh over hears his wife’s problem and decides to go in for a makeover. He then watches some movies and changes his image completely and comes back to the show and woos Anushka off her feet. All the way through the dance competition, she keeps on falling in love with this new and improved Shah Rukh, without once realising that the man she is dancing with, is her real husband.”

What is Effective Communication??

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray? But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.